Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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