Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize