worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize