i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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