I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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