u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
