i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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