my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
