It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
