that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
