I showed him my bush... on skype.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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