on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
