id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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