apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
