thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
