Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
