Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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