your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize