I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize