I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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