lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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