pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
