Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
