We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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