i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
