Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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