why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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