i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
