So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
