walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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