Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
where does the pee come out of this thing
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize