your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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