He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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