All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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