At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
