Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
