Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There r osticjed everywhere
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
