well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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