Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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