I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize