Welp...herpes.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
