to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
