Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
