my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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