bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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