i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
