gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
