it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
