Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
