the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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