You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
