I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
