I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
