Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
