Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
