We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
