Christians are straight up FREAKS
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize