Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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