Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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