just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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